We All Just Want To Be Seen and Feel That We Matter

The main reason I started my non-profit, Giving Purpose Organization/YOU ARE ENOUGH, is to help people feel that they matter. I add two more parts to the mission by stating that the mission is to help people feel seen and supported as well. When you think about it, we all just want to feel seen and worthy. Read an article today in CNN by Jennifer Breheny Wallace who just wrote a book entitled, Mattering: The Secret to a Life of Deep Connection and Purpose that backed this up in such simple terms. Here is a short video of her explaining the value of being seen and feeling worthy.

Why is it important for people to feel like they matter?

It’s a fundamental human need after food and shelter. Researchers find that it drives our behavior, for better or worse. When we meet that need, we thrive. And when we don’t meet it, people suffer. When we are made to feel like we don’t matter, we can withdraw or turn to substances or self-harm to try to squelch that psychic pain, or we might lash out. 

Researchers have found that there are certain ingredients to feeling like you matter:

Recognition is the idea that you are appreciated for who you are, not just what you do.

Reliance is this idea that there are people in this world who depend on you, trust you and rely on you.

Importance is the idea that you are significant to the people in your life. And that sense of significance is found in small, everyday moments — such as when you’re made to feel that the things you like are worthy of being remembered.

Attunement is this idea that you are worthy of being understood and responded to meaningfully.

Ego extension is just a fancy way of feeling like others are invested in you, and that you have people in your life that you’re invested in.

There’s research out of the Mayo Clinic that finds that even just an hour a week of spending time with people who bolster our sense of mattering, who let us feel seen and understood and cared for, fills us up. That is what gives us the energy and the bandwidth we need to be the kind of first responders that we need to be to help others.

Simple points that can make a huge difference in your life and the life of others. Life is truly about connection, helping others feel seen, valued and supported, and that there is a meaning behind why we exist.  And of course, I always share with people that they are ENOUGH because there is no one else out in this Universe like them.